Problems shared are problems halved
by PandorasHollow
Summary: Catherine and Grissom get drunk and talk about the ones that got away. Pairings: NS, WT


_**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI_

_**AN: **This is a story about Catherine and Grissom but nothing romantic (or sexual). Them and their 'problems' are the main focus of the story. There a two couples mentioned in the story: 1. - Nick & Sara - Anyone who knows my other stories shouldn't be surprised about the SNickers fluff ; 2. - Warrick and Tina - Yes, I'm one of the people who like Warrick and Tina together. I think it's a pity that the makers and creators of CSI aren't giving them a chance. _

Those two couples are the reason why Grissom and Catherine feel down.

**Spoilers:** None but I should mention that I've written this story months ago (before the finale) but never posted it because I couldn't decide on how to end it.

Read and review, constructive criticism is welcome!

_**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**_

_The night is bitter,  
The stars have lost their glitter;  
The winds grow colder  
And suddenly you're older -  
And all because of the man that got away._

_No more his eager call,  
The writing's on the wall;  
The dreams you dreamed have all  
Gone astray  
- **Judy Garland**, the man that got away -_

**_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x_**

Catherine closed her locker and turned to Warrick and Nick who had just finished getting ready to leave.

"You guys up for breakfast?" She asked and waited for a response from her two colleagues.

"Sorry Cath but I already have plans." Warrick was the first to decline her invitation. Catherine looked at Nick who had the same apologetic expression on his face as Warrick.

"It was a long night. I just want to go home and sleep." Nick told her and although she felt let down, Catherine knew that he was being honest. "Raincheck?" Nick asked her and she smiled faintly as she nodded.

"Sure, no problem." She had hoped to spend some time with the rest of the team. They haven't been together outside of work for a while now and she missed it. Everyone seemed so busy with their lives that they rarely interacted after shift anymore. Even Grissom had left the lab uber-punctual that morning, and Catherine found herself deprived of the chance to go into his office, plop down on a chair and complain to him until he'd sigh and agree to have breakfast with her.

The trio exited the locker room together, all glad that the shift was finally over. On their way outside, Sara caught up with them. She was suppressing a yawn and Catherine noticed the dark circles under Sara's eyes, so she didn't even attempt to ask her if she wanted to have breakfast.

"God, I'm so tired that I don't even remember where I've parked my car." Nick said once they were outside on the parking lot. The group chuckled before Sara pointed in the direction of Nick's car. "It's two spaces from Rick's." She said.

"Well, mine's over there." Catherine pointed in the opposite direction, near the lab entrance.

"Don't have to brag that you have a parking space with your name on it, Miss Willows." Warrick teased.

"We can not all be supervisors." Catherine replied with a smile. Although she was no longer the supervisior of the swing shift, Catherine still had her designated parking place. "I'll see you guys tonight."

"Bye Cath."

"Bye."

"Have a good morning." The three younger CSIs said respectively as Catherine turned around and walked the short distance to her car. She opened the passenger door and put her purse and a bag with dirty laundry on the seat before walking over to the driver's side.

Inside the car she put the key in the ignition and opened the window on the passenger's side to let some fresh air into the car. Taking a look outside she noticed Nick, Warrick and Sara still standing in the same spot. Through the open window she caught a few words of their conversation and if she put them together correctly, then it seemed that Nick and Sara were invited by Warrick to have dinner with him and Tina.

Before Catherine could wonder why only Nick and Sara were invited a white cab drove onto the Crime Lab's parking lot and stopped at the entrance, blocking Catherine's view.

She watched as a petite woman with dark curly hair and a beautiful smile upon her lips stepped out.

"Hey babe." A familiar deep voice said and Catherine's gaze shifted from the woman to the owner of the deep voice. Her heart dropped a little when she saw Warrick smile brightly at the young woman. It was then that Catherine realized that it has to be Tina, the woman who had stolen Warrick's heart and Warrick from her.

Warrick kissed his wife hello before reaching for his wallet and paying the cab driver. The cab left once the fee was paid and Warrick stepped closer to Tina. He bent down, she stepped on her tiptoes and their lips met in a lingering kiss.  
Catherine's face was etched with sadness as she looked at the couple outside. Like mesmerized she watched Warrick cup Tina's face in his hands and Tina's left hand grasping a fist of his shirt, tugging him closer to her. Catherine noticed the simple yet beautiful wedding band on Tina's left ring finger and was once again confronted with the reality, Warrick won't ever be hers. When the kiss ended, Warrick reached for Tina's hand and took it in his. They walked over to Nick and Sara and with surprise Catherine watched as Tina hugged both before stepping back to her husband.  
Warrick slung an arm around Tina's shoulders and she in return wrapped an arm around his waist, hooking a finger into one of the belt loops. The affectionateness between them made Catherine wish to be the one with Warrick's arms around her. That thought saddened her even more and she avoided her gaze. She turned the key in the ignition and left the parking lot as quickly as possible.

_**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**_

Catherine's mind was set on driving home and crawling into her bed. In the end she found herself in front of a bar without any real recollection of how she had ended there. After sitting for a while outside the bar and staring at the flashy sign with the bar's name on it, she decided that she really needed a drink.

Entering the somewhat filthy establishment, her eyes fell on a very familiar figure hunched over the bar. Surprise was not even starting to describe what she felt when she saw him sitting there with a drink in his hand.

For a moment she was worried to see him there. He barely ever drank and never in such a bar but then it occurred to her that she could say the same of herself. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the bar and sat down on a booth next to him.

"Hey, stranger. You wanna some company?" He looked at her, surprise evident on his face.

"Catherine, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same, Gil."

"Yeah, well…" Grissom trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. Catherine just nodded and decided to let it slide for the moment.

"What are you drinking?" She asked instead.

"Whiskey."

"You mind if I join you?"

"No, of course not but I'm already two drinks ahead of you."

"That's nothing that can't be taken care of." Catherine said and raised her hand to get the attention of the barkeeper. "Tequilla, three shots." She said as the barkeeper approached her. He nodded and quickly complied, putting down three glasses along with salt and lemon slices in front of her .

Catherine emptied the glasses rather fast while Grissom looked on amused. She noticed his eyes on her and raised a questioning eyebrow in his direction.

"What?" She wanted to know.

"Nothing. You're now a drink ahead of me." Grissom replied.

"Well, not for long. Barkeeper, give the man another Whiskey and a Martini with two olives for me." The man behind the bar nodded again and soon their glasses were refilled.

"So, Gil. Why are you drinking?"

Grissom let out a deep sigh before replying hastily "Idiocy, regret, lost chances. Why are you drinking?"

"Idiocy, regret, lost chances." Catherine repeated his words and Grissom nodded in understanding. He lifted his drink and Catherine did the same and they clinked glasses before emptying them in one swift motion.

_**Flashback**  
The previous night_

Grissom parked the car on his parking space at the lab. He took a look at his wristwatch and saw that he had less then ten minutes before shift started. He climbed out of the car and in a moment of sheer clumsiness, his keys slipped through his fingers and fell on the ground. Grissom sighed annoyed and took a step back to see where his keys had landed. A moment later he wished he hadn't moved at all as his left foot accidently shoved the keys under the car.

"That's exactly what I need right now." He muttered before closing the door to his car a bit more forcefully than needed. He bent down slightly to see if he could reach the keys, but the keys were out of his grasp and he knew that he'd have to go down on his knees to retrieve them. A grunt escaped his mouth as he slowly lowered himself on his knees and hands before squinting his eyes in the dark in an attempt to locate the keys under his car. As if his night hadn't already started off badly, now he was crawling on the ground in front of the lab. He was sure if Ecklie could see him, he'd have a field day with it.

Just as he spotted the keys, another car parked on the other side of his vehicle. Grissom heard doors open and close and under his car he saw a pair of shoes that definitely belonged to a woman. Two familiar voices rang through the night just as his fingertips touched the keys briefly. "Never again?" Grissom heard the man ask.

"You and me are never again taking a shower together." At the woman's declaration all of Grissom's movements stopped and his mouth formed into an 'o' as the implication of her words dawned on him.

"Aww, come on. We're on time. Actually, we still have seven minutes." The male voice replied, a slight whine evident in his voice. Grissom watched as a pair of men's black shoes joined the feminine ones.

"We're only on time because you drove like a madman and because I forwent to dry my hair. Now it's going to be all curly." The female voice, which distinctively belonged to Sara, said in some kind of a pouting tone and Grissom had a hard time imagining Sara with a pout on her lips.

"I like it curly." The man said in a softer tone. "Besides, you didn't complain when I followed you into the shower."

"Actually I did. I said _'Nick, we don't have time for this.'_"

"Okay, so you didn't complain _much_." Nick said with a chuckle. Under his car, Grissom saw Nick's feet step closer to Sara's and for the following few minutes silence dominated the noises in the parking lot. Grissom was well aware what was happening on the other side of his car and for a moment he wished he had never left his house that day.

"Nick…" Sara breathed out his name some time later. "We don't have time for this." She said in a a playful manner and elicited laughter from Nick but it was soon replaced by another silence, which to Grissom's relief didn't last for long.

"Come on, let's go inside." It was Nick who said that.

"Okay." Sara agreed. "Oh, wait." She said just a second later.

"What is it, darlin'?" Nick asked and Grissom cringed at the use of endearment.

"You can follow me into the shower anytime you want." The tone of Sara's voice was foreign to Grissom's ears. It sounded sultry, it sounded sexy and it made a pleasant shiver run up his spine.

"Yeah?" Nick asked.

"Yes, just not before work or _at_ work for that matter."

"Party pooper." Grissom watched as Nick tried to step away from Sara but failed as Sara's voice and her hands, Grissom assumed, stopped Nick once again.

"I want to tell you something else." She said.

"Something else? Oh, I know. We can't have a shower together at work but a quickie in the broom closet?" Nick asked playfully and Grissom heard Sara giggle.

"No." She stretched the word with emphasis.

"The locker room then?" He asked teasingly.

"Nick!" Sara called somewhat sternly but was unable to fully contain another giggle.

"What?"

"I love you." Sara said in a soft tone. Grissom's breath caught in his throat as he heard her say those three words.

"I love you too." There was absolutely no hesitation in Nick's reply, Grissom noted. Mere seconds of silence later, Grissom heard Nick say: "Now we're definitely late."

"And it's all your fault." Sara said matter of factly causing Nick to immediately protest. Their playful banter continued as they finally made their way towards the entrance of the lab. Grissom stayed on the ground and watched as their feet got smaller with every step they took until they disappeared completely out of his line of vision.

Remembering the reason why he was on his hands and knees on the ground, Grissom quickly snatched his keys from under the car and stood up, his hands and knees aching from his previous position. As he brushed off the dirt off his pants, he couldn't stop the numerous thoughts that rushed through his head.

He had a hard time believing what he had just witnessed. He scoured his brain for something that would explain how he could have missed Nick and Sara fall in love.

Suddenly he remembered little things that he had witnessed for a couple of months now, things that he had dismissed as not worth mentioning or simply had ignored them because he had no desire to deal with them.

The happiness that radiated off both of them, the extra spring in Nick's step, the way he smiled with more easiness, after weeks of giving everyone fake smiles due to his incident.

The fact that during certain cases Nick would throw worried glances across the evidence room towards Sara. The way Sara smiled at Nick whenever she caught him looking.  
The way they always stood close to each other, shoulders touching. The way Nick's hand always found its place on the small of Sara's back as he guided her out of a room.

The more he thought about the couple the more things found their way to the surface of his mind. Grissom was not prepared for the wave of regret and pain that washed over him as he realized that it was Nick who made Sara happy, that Sara was in love with another man.

An irritated sigh left his mouth as he once again took a glance at his watch. He was too late for shift. Composing himself the best he could, Grissom finally made his way towards the lab.

_**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**_

The shift had seemed never-ending and Grissom had never been more unhappy to be at work than during those eight hours. He had tried to forget _them_, to focus on his work but to his bad luck there hadn't been any work to do, no cases that had needed his attention or would have provided distraction. The thought that fate was mocking him, punishing him for the things he had not done, had crossed his mind several times.

He had sat in his office for a long time, pretending to work while thoughts of Sara and Nick had swirled around in his head. Not even his favorite symphony by Beethoven had succeeded to distract him. The end of shift hadn't come soon enough and in the morning Grissom had left the lab on time, something he rarely did.

He had driven aimlessly through the city, without an urge to go home where no one waited for him. Not a family, not a dog and not even a fish in a bowl.  
Driving through a street that he had driven through a million times before, he had caught sight of a bar and at that moment going inside had seemed like something he _needed_ to do.

Now, some time later, he sat with his beautiful colleague and friend who was equally bothered, and together they opted to drown their sorrows in alcohol and themselves in self-pity.

"I always thought that there's time…" Catherine slurred. "I thought that he'd always be there. What a fool I've been." She shook her head before emptying the contents of her glass in one big gulp. Grissom nodded his head in understanding. He knew exactly how she felt.

"Things could have been different but I chose to ignore them, to deny them. Now she's happy with him." Grissom said, his voice not once betraying his drunken state.

"She's so beautiful. That curly hair and that smile. And his smile…_God_, his smile when he looked at her…"

"He made her giggle. Can you imagine Sara giggling?" Grissom shook his head unbelievably. Both were only half listening to the things the other said. So many things wanted to be said, things neither had the courage to admit sober nor did they ever trust someone that much to talk openly about their feelings.

"I don't understand it. Okay, yes. I'm attracted to her, have been for a long time." Grissom admitted.

"Then why didn't you do something?" Catherine's attention was suddenly exclusively on him and he briefly looked in her direction before focusing on the drink in his hand again.

"I don't know. Something held me back. I always had the feeling that…" Grissom trailed off, not really knowing how to finish his thought.

"That there's something missing? That there's supposed to be more?" Catherine suggested and Grissom contemplated her words for a moment before agreeing with a nod.

"But why was I seeking her attention even after I told her that I'm not interested?" Grissom wondered out loud, the question more pointed at himself than at Catherine but she answered him nonetheless.

"It's the _'Quarterback-syndrome'._" She offered as an explanation and earned an inquiring look from her companion.

"The what syndrome?" Grissom asked.

"Gil, you were never popular in high school, right?" she asked but didn't wait for an answer, just continued with her little theory. "You never had girls throw themselves at you or flutter their eyelashes at you. But one day this smart and beautiful woman comes along and she hangs on every word you say, puts you up on some pedestal, kisses the ground you walk on, figuratively of course. All of a sudden you felt like a quarterback with his own cheerleader but…but when she asked you for your Letterman jacket, you said _no_. Now your cheerleader changed teams and you don't like it because you have to live with the knowledge that something like that won't happen to you a second time, that no one like Sara will cross your path again."

"You really think I'm that vain?" He looked at her, his brows roused as if in challenge. It didn't deter Catherine from answering.

"Yep." Her reply was quick.

"Thanks." Grissom snorted and took another sip of his Scotch.

"It's no crime to be vain. It's in the human's nature." Catherine told him and shrugged her shoulders. "See it this way, it's better that you never did anything about it. You don't love her and acting upon something that never existed on your part would have only led to a catastrophe." Grissom grew quiet as he thought about her words. Both lost in their own thoughts, they let silence engulf them for a few minutes. A little while later, after he had analyzed everything, Grissom had to concede, albeit with reluctance, that Catherine was right. He was not diffident in asking women out, yet he had never asked Sara out. Catherine's sports metaphors aside, he had to admit that he surely enjoyed Sara's company and that there were a few times when he felt a strong physical attraction between them. With the last bits of rationality that weren't swamped with alcohol, Grissom understood that making no move to requite Sara's old feelings was the best move he could have made.  
He gulped down the rest of his drink and pushed the glass away from him. The barkeeper took it as a sign to refill it and Grissom didn't object. He looked at Catherine who seemed lost in thought, staring at a spot on the bar without blinking.

"You and Warrick would have never worked." He said out of nowhere, bringing her out of her reverie.

"Well, thank you a lot." Catherine said sarcastically. Still, her curiosity was roused and she wanted to know why he had said that.

"Why wouldn't it have worked?" She asked as she turned in her booth to look at him. Grissom, however continued to stare straight ahead of him.

"Because you don't match." Was his reply. Catherine just stared at his profile, waiting for him to elaborate more. He did. "You never had a strong male role in your life. Every men you looked up to disappointed you in some way. Your mentor, Eddie, Sam Braun. You've spent years dancing in front of men that disgusted you and now, day in and day out you're confronted with abusive fathers, boyfriends, husbands and so on. You seek human contact, go out and end up with a suspect in a homicide. You feel down and wonder if it will ever be different.  
But then you look around and your eyes fall on a man that you've known for years. A man you know is good and different from all the others you encounter across the interrogation room. You feel attracted to him, and the feeling is probably mutual. There's perhaps sexual tension between the two of you but things don't go behind that. You think it's because of your careers and maybe, just maybe because of the slight age difference. But it's not.  
Deep down, you know that something is missing, that there's supposed to be more. And you know it because if there were _more,_ he could have made the first step too. But he didn't. He found someone else and didn't hesitate to promise her _forever_."

Every word stung and Catherine found herself at the brink of tears. Grissom was right, she concluded. That's why it hurt so much to hear him say those things. It hurt because everything he said was true.

"You're not drinking yourself into oblivion because you've lost the love of your life but because there's one name less on your list of good men." Grissom said before taking another sip of his drink.

"Two." Catherine said after a while.

"What?" Grissom looked at her puzzled.

"The list is two names shorter. Warrick and Nick." She clarified.

"Yeah, Nick." Grissom said in an almost inaudible voice. "He's a good guy." He added after a few silent seconds.

"Yes, he is." Catherine agreed and once again silence settled over them.

_**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**_

The late Las Vegas sun found Grissom passed out on a red couch, only partially familiar to him. He was lying on his back, his feet hanging over the arm of the couch. Slowly he started to stir and with every second that it took for his mind to return to consciousness, the pounding in his ears got louder and the stinging pain in his head intensified. His tightly shut eyes opened with reluctance and he took a look around himself, taking in his whereabouts. _"I've been here before" _he thought but it took him a minute or two to remember where _here_ was. _Catherine's house_, he finally remembered and shut his eyes again, not ready to move yet. He faintly remembered a ride in a cab and stumbling on the stairs in front of Catherine's house.  
Five minutes or five hours later, Grissom couldn't tell, he heard the hardwood floor creak and someone groan. With some effort he managed to prop himself on his elbows and turn his head towards the sounds. His gaze found a very dishevelled looking Catherine. Her clothes were wrinkled and her hair messy. She was holding a hand to her head and looking at him through one eye while the other one was tightly shut.

"Coffee?" She asked after regarding him for a moment.

"In an IV." He replied and Catherine snorted, wishing that it could actually be a possibility.

Several hours later, Grissom walked down the halls of the CSI headquarters towards his office. The faint headache and the still bitter taste in his mouth were the only reminders of Catherine's and his visit to the bar that morning.  
He was going through the messages that Judy, the receptionist, had written down for him when Sara passed him by in the hall.

"Hey Gris." She greeted him but his paid no attention to her. He just continued without looking up from the pink slips of paper in his hands, not acknowledging her presence in any way. Sara looked after him for a moment before deciding to follow him. She had the feeling that something was bothering him and it worried her a bit. She reached his office in time to see him sit down in his chair, still focused on the messages in his hand.

"Everything alright?" Her voice startled him, he hadn't noticed her come in.

"Sara, what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see how you're doing, if everything is okay."

"Why are you asking?" He asked.

"You seem preoccupied with something. You holed up yourself in this office last night and now you just walked past me in the hall without responding to my greeting."

"I'm sorry." Grissom said, he really hadn't heard her greet him. "I didn't mean to ignore you."

"What's bothering you? Can I help?" _What an irony_, Grissom thought. She was the reason for his absent-mindedness and there she was asking if she could help.

"No, thanks. Everything is alright. I just have something on my mind."

"Okay." Sara said not really convinced. "Nick and I closed the Ramirez case. It was her husband. The report should be there somewhere on your desk." Sara informed him.

"Good." For a second she hesitated leaving and she once again raised her brows in a questioning manner.

"You sure you're alright?"

"I'll be." Grissom answered, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Sara saw that his smile was genuine so she smiled back before leaving his office. Grissom watched her walk away, regret still tugging at his heart. Catherine might have been right about him loving to have Sara's attention but she was wrong about him never loving Sara. In his own way he did love her. Just now he no longer had the chance to find out what kind of love that was. _Friends for life _kind of love or something that ran deeper, the kind of love people immortalized in poems and songs.

Everyone was waiting for him in the break room when he walked in twenty minutes after his talk with Sara.

"Nick, Sara. A DB in the desert, Brass is already there." Grissom said and held out a slip. "Warrick, Greg. A fight involving several injured at the _'Hole'_ club."

"Well, it's the ladies mud wrestling night after all." Greg said and everyone's attention fell on him. "Uhm…that's what I've heard." He said unconvincingly when he noticed the others looking at him.

"I doubt it's _ladies_ mud wrestling." Sara said. "Unless they're wrestling in Chanel costumes and with huge hats on their heads." She quipped.

"How am I supposed to know that? I was never there." Greg replied and took the slip of paper from Grissom.

"Right Greggo." Warrick said with a chuckle. "And when we arrive there, I'm sure every waitress will know you by name."

"So, no case for you and Catherine, boss?" Greg asked in an attempt to change the subject but Grissom just shook his head in amusement at the youngest of his CSIs.

"It's a slow night and Catherine and I still have to finish the Walker case." Neither could recall what case that was, but they nodded nonetheless before leaving for their crime scenes. When they were alone Catherine turned to Grissom with a raised eyebrow.

"The Walker case?" She had no idea what case he was talking about.

"Yeah, the _Johnny Walker_ case." He said, a serious expression upon his face before a boyish smile appeared on his lips. Catherine laughed, shaking her head bemusedly at him.

"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." She said and patted him on the back. _Sitting around the lab and drinking coffee will definitely solve the case of hangover_, was Catherine's last thought before she followed Grissom to his office and closed the door behind them.

**The End**

**------**

_Thanks for reading! I hope it wasn't **that** much out of character for Grissom and Catherine._

Oh, and I just want to say that the last line by Cath is from the movie Casablanca. It's a famous line and I just wanted to mention it in case someone doesn't know. (Just because I met someone recently who didn't even know that that movie exists)


End file.
